Practice Positive Parenting During Lockdown
One request that I hear every day is, “Mom can we go out for a bit please, just for a few minutes’. And this tears my heart up. No child deserves this isolation, especially those who are extroverts and thrive in company. Heer is that child.
She graduated to Grade 4 and was to stand for the primary school prefect elections, her ballet group was to travel abroad for a performance and she wanted a huge unicorn-themed swimming pool birthday party this year. She does ask me whether any of these will be possible this year, but I think in her heart she knows the answer. She does put on a happy face, but I know she is upset about not being able to do any of these things this year, as she had been looking forward to these milestones.
As an adult, I find it extremely important yet equally difficult to adjust to this new normal and can only imagine what a child may be feeling…. I have discussed this extensively with experts to ensure I do the best I can to reassure my kids that this is just a passing phase and a new experience for us all and we have to ride this tide together. And from these conversations and discussions, I’ve ensured I do a few things with Heer almost on a day-to-day basis, which has helped us weather this storm as a team. I would love to share these small tips with you that have made a huge positive impact on our household.
Talk to her about what is going on…
Children are more susceptible to information that we credit them for, and so it is the best to give in to the curious minds and feed in the right information rather than having them wonder about what's going on. As they feel unnerved, vulnerable and even unsure; it is an opportune moment to answer their question and reassure them about the future.
Accept her emotions and behaviour…
Children have more to lose during the lockdown than us, their entire life in a way has been uprooted and a new normal is being set, which is not easy to fall into. Little things like going to school, playing with friends, heading out for classes, etc matter to them as much as work matters to us. So be empathic and help them understand their loss and accept related behaviour.
Set a new routine for her…
Of course, the new normal demands a new routine, so the best way to ensure that each day doesn’t end up like a marathon or a war-zone, create a new timetable for them to follow. Discuss with them what they would like to do and create a mix of independent and group activities including school work, playtime, screen time and more to ensure they are physically and mentally healthy.
We are all experiencing the lockdown for the first time, and we all are trying to cope in our ways, and learning as we go. You may falter at times, but don’t be hard on yourself and most importantly don't be very strict towards the kids. Follow the rule 'Ignore else Forgive', because every child is going to make a mistake or behave badly or throw a tantrum or just be a child.
When you are overwhelmed with all the responsibilities and work that's been thrown at you, just remember the little one who you held in your arms the very first time and promised to care for no matter what. Put that promise to work today.
Until next time,
~ Heena
14 comments
As an adult, I find it extremely difficult to adjust to the new normal and can only imagine what a child may be feeling, so I'm doing a few things with Heer that has helped us weather this storm together.. Read the article to know more...
ReplyDeleteI can't even imagine how difficult this must be for children! Especially when they just want to go outside and have some fun this summer. Such an important topic and I'm so glad you decided to write about it.
ReplyDeletethe creation of beauty is art.
Hey Heena, that's quite fantastic. Let the kids be how they are, make them aware and enjoy this time. Quite positive!
ReplyDeleteManisha - As an adult we have faced so many new situations which have challenged us. The kids have really helped us with a strong support, your pointers are a must to follow.
ReplyDeleteRight parenting is what makes a good human being out of your kids.
ReplyDeleteThis quarantine gives you the best time to do it being able to spend more quality time with them.
Yes I do agree the situation is difficult and it will take time to get normalize everything. Nice pointers to consider
ReplyDeleteIt has been very hard, especially for kids. As you said, it’s so important to talk to kids and acknowledge what they are feeling. I hope this passes soon and everything becomes normal.
ReplyDeleteI think parents should make a friendship bond with kids to make them realize every small responsibilities or other emotional stuffs as a friend. It's very important to understand them
ReplyDeleteActually lockdown is blessing in disguise now parents are getting more and more time to spend with their kids
ReplyDeleteThese tips are really great, I'm sure a lot many parents will benefit from this article.
ReplyDeleteYou are such a sorted person, I don't think anything will unnerve you. And since Heer takes after you, I'm sure she is as good as gold.
ReplyDeleteMy daughter is my best friend and we share our dreams, fears, anxiety and everything else too; which keeps us connected at all times.
ReplyDeleteWe honestly never tried to implement any routine for our kids. I feel staying indoors for them is a restriction anyway. Their day is structured till the time they have their classes. After that we let them do whatever they want.
ReplyDeleteI think the lockdown is difficult enough to cope with, but these tips sure will help during this time.
ReplyDelete